A Light of Hope for Madeleine

A LIGHT FOR MADELEINE!



On Thursday 3 May 2007, little Madeleine McCann from the UK was taken from her bedroom, from her parents and her family while on holiday in the Algarve. As a mother myself, I am not sure what I would have done if my child suddenly vanished. It must be the most awful feeling of desolation and impotence, with not knowing being the hardest part. My heart goes out to Kate and Gerry McCann. I hope they find the courage to keep hoping for her return. This candle is my personal tribute and prayer for Madeleine to be found safely.
Love and Faith conquer all.

This candle will burn in hope until Madeliene is returned to her family. May she be protected from all harm by the ocean of love and prayers that surrounds her. Please feel free to leave comments of support. Thank You.

Is it Time to Ditch the Old Ageist Mindset?

In an interview regarding getting older in the New York Times Magazine, Nora Ephron says, with obvious feeling, "Old age can be pitiful. That's why Americans tend to ignore it. First it was ignored. Then it was boosterized by all those people who wrote these stupid books about it. This insistence on the joy of aging, the joy of menopause, the joy of late-life sex — this is all garbage."

That was a real pity because there was no obvious counter interview for ageing put by the NYTM, so this one negative view appeared to speak for all women. Bearing in mind that many women fear ageing too, they would have been left even more depressed and downhearted by those comments. The real tragedy here is that many people look to Nora, a well established writer, for guidance and enlightenment. If there is no 'joy' of being older, what would she advise those who fear the process to do? End their life in midstream to avoid ageing?

I am not sure if the way we age is a cultural/race thing, but most of the Black people I know look fabulous at any age. I remember watching a programme on the BBC not long ago about the history of soul music. They were interviewing some of the soul stars of the 60s and I had to keep reminding myself that these amazing looking people, without a single wrinkle, would have been in their late 60s or 70s. They looked no older than mid-40s. Many of them would have disagreed with Nora that ageing had no joy attached to it, perhaps because ageing comes naturally to them. They don't fret about it!

I also spoke at a conference recently and most of the people there were over 50 and it was difficult to tell their ages. But there was one noticeable thing about all the delegates in the room. They had come to learn career, business and confidence tips for self-improvement and not one person cared about their age in a negative way. Most were boastful about how they looked for their age. These people could show Nora a thing or two about the real joys of ageing. It got me thinking about how we need to change our perception to really appreciate getting older.




Low Mortality Rate
Two hundred years ago, one was likely to die in mid-40s or early 50s. It meant that, from about 35 years old, you were considered as 'old' and expected to do 'old' things with your life, like being seen and not heard, especially if you were a woman. During the 20th century it was quietly assumed that one is young until 40, middle aged until 60 and 'old' after that. Since then we have had a revolution in technology, changing the direction and quality of our lives dramatically, but we are still stuck with the same old ageist mindset on getting older. The result is that employers, programme makers and media producers still fear ageing and treat it in outmoded terms, so much that 18 million people over 50 in the UK, the flower-power baby boomers who liberated their age in the 60s, are still waiting to be treated like their younger counterparts. We have shiny new technological tools working with old decrepit mindsets that should have been educated, along with technology, to expect the unexpected and to think outside the box. People are changing rapidly in their behaviour while many of the power brokers are still stuck back there judging others through their own fears.

I am 59 and I don't have even one wrinkle. I have a beautiful face, beautiful smooth skin and great legs – and I won't even mention my fantastic boobs, which many younger women would die for. I have never used anti-ageing anything. Everything about me is natural, no help from anywhere apart from plain moisturisers. I have never been to a hairdresser in my life as I don't like anyone else's hands doing my hair. I feel and look no less sexy than when I was in my 40s or 30s, with a trail of men, from all ages, trying to attract my attention . Yet I have no wish to be young again. I love the age I am and shout it from the rooftops. I believe that there is nothing more wonderful than having wisdom, experience and intellect along with all those other physical assets. An awesome combination. I boast daily that when I reach 60, 70 and beyond, I will still be as fabulous. There's a 77 year old woman on my MySpace page who does not look a day over 45! You can see the self confidence, sense of pride and wellbeing in her face - the key to getting older. She is clearly enjoying who she is. Nora Ephron, she certainly is not!

Ageing has been a joy for me throughout my life because I have NEVER thought of ageing in negative terms. I have always looked forward to my birthdays and enjoyed every one. I never look for wrinkles, I never worry about how 'old' I am getting. Instead, every day I remind myself that dead people don't age. So, if I am ageing, I am alive.....and hallelujah for that fantastic fact! What is the point of being alive only to tell yourself every day how horrible you look. Might as well end the torture by flagging down the next bus and getting under it!

The Power of Thoughts
For the uninformed, we age first in our heads and our bodies gladly oblige. So if we sit and stare at ourselves every day, bemoaning how OLD we look, that's precisely what we will have more of, because we cannot have positive things while thinking negatively. If we see age as 'garbage' and a joyless existence, that's precisely what we will enjoy. However, when we begin to appreciate our life, ourselves, and the people accompanying us on our journey, the world becomes a magical place and life is a true joy. In line with the effects of new technology on our lives, it is time we lose the old senile, fearful views on ageing.

Currently we have people living until 120+, with many thousands reaching 100 without too much fuss. It needs a new perception of the whole process. It means accepting that, with each new decade of good health and good living, people are going to live longer. As long as we keep using our brains and bodies they will serve us magnificently too. Time to acknowledge that a YOUNG person now is at least up to 45 years, a middle-ager is up to 70 and an older person anything after that, with the markers shifting constantly. Ten years from now, a really old person might be perceived as one who is 85 years and above because many people would be living to 115! Time to do away with limiting age numbers and let people prove themselves, at whatever age they are.

I have a theory I would love to prove because I believe that, from birth, we are brainwashed by society, the media and loved ones into negative expectations around ageing, which then become self-fulfilling prophecies. I would love to experiment with some people on an island where every newborn was told, daily, that they will live forever, and then see what happens. My guess is that, because they would have been told nothing else, they would have nothing to fear and their perception of ageing would be entirely different from ours. Positive ageing would become part of their belief system and they would live like ageless people, regardless of their actual mortality. They won't live forever, but they are likely to live a darn sight longer than the average person does now.

We never completely fulfil our potential till the day we die. It is time to stop using age as the sum of the individual; to stop writing a person off at any point in their life; to let them show us, through the quality of their existence, exactly what age they are. Then we will have freed ourselves from the tyranny of oppressive ageist numbers and really 'live' that precious life we're granted in every sense of the word.

Why it is Difficult to Earn RESPECT

From today, an 18 year old at the start of his adult life will be spending the next 25 years of it in prison in the UK for killing another man who he said paid him no 'respect'. Yet another Black youngster is behind bars, his freedom and potential dramatically cut short like the life of his victim. Bradley Tucker shot unarmed Peter Woodhams after Peter had already been knifed by someone in Tucker's hoodie gang. He lost his life trying to stand up to the bullies.

According to the judge, Bradley "perceived disrespect". He feared loss of face in a challenge that he perceived from the man he killed - a challenge to the standing he felt he had in the eyes of the people whose respect he sought. Gang members tend to talk about getting 'respect' from each other and others. They believe that the negative acts of wounding and killing should encourage even more 'respect' and save face. But they will always fail in getting the desired result because of a misunderstanding of the word respect and a lack of awareness of how it is acquired. Respect is a positive word. It has nothing to do with negativity or negative acts. So one cannot get respect through negative behaviour. One can probably get a temporary feeling of satisfaction and power, but no real respect. There are also six dimensions of the word respect.

At the heart of respect is sensitivity to others and their feelings. By demanding respect, or bullying others into showing it, that goes against the grain of earning that respect because there is no sensitivity. We are all automatically entitled to respect by virtue of being living, thinking human beings. Respect is thus automatic in the first instance for who we are and proclaim to be. However, maintaining that respect is the difficult bit because unless the six dimensions of respect are in place (curiosity, attention, dialogue, sensitivity, empowerment, healing), we are likely to withhold respect from that person and treat them with either contempt or disdain, especially through ignoring them or resisting their attempts to draw our attention or engage in dialogue.


Reasons for Joining Gangs
Most important, real respect begins from the self. If we have no respect for ourselves, we cannot expect it from others either. That would be a difficult thing to do. For example, someone being a murderer, yet expect to be treated as though he hasn't committed a crime, is contradictory. He is a criminal. Until there has been a successful rehabilitation for his action, he will always be perceived in a negative light and denied the respect he seeks.

People join gangs for a variety of reasons but the key one is to foster a sense of belonging, an essential part of the confidence triangle. Most gang members will be low in self-esteem and the stronger ones will have a craving for power. Not being able to use that power in positive ways in the wider world, they will use it negatively to feel better about themselves. In such groups, where the only glue holding members together is the desire to belong and feel wanted, the achievement they crave is likely to come in deviant acts to maintain that feeling of power and desire for 'respect'. Yet that is not the basis to earn respect because there is no self-respect already in place. Instead, members are likely to expect others to like what they reject - themselves. They will also be expecting others to condone negative acts which are likely to be part of their rituals and affirmation process. Yet those very acts merely serve to alienate the wider public and form a dubious base for their efforts to impress other members. In such a negative situation, how could Bradley expect to get the respect that he himself denied others?

Bradley Tucker is another tragic youngster who thinks he can earn respect by force through the maiming and killing of another person. But he lost respect for himself when he became a member of a deviant gang and began his reign of terror against his neighbourhood. He said he only meant to scare his victim. I am inclined to believe him. But what obviously got in the way when he pointed the gun at defenceless Peter Woodhams was that feeling of power again, the sudden realisation of the heady power to snuff out a man's life to prove a point, while momentarily forgetting that he was robbing himself of a life too.

Why Paris Hilton's Sentence is the Right One

Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in prison for violating her probation terms. She won't be able to choose her prison, there will be no work releases, electronic monitoring or any other concessions. Just a plain old jail with an hour outside her cell each day. Her mother thought the sentence was 'pathetic and disgusting' and her lawyer was 'shocked and surprised' by it. Why is that? What exactly did they expect when Paris kept breaking the law? Is she special in that regard?

If one disobeys the law one can expect retribution. What is the point of having laws which some people ignore or which only work with some types but not others? If the law is not applicable to all, can we expect it to work to society's benefit when we want it to do so? If we give no respect to the law we are actually condoning a lawless society and one dreads to think of the consequences of that. The law can only be effective if it is taken seriously, treated with respect and applied to everyone, whether rich or poor, high or low, famous or unknown. If those three elements are not in place, judges and lawyers might as well pack up and go home.

There are four reasons why this is a just sentence. First, Hilton was caught for alcohol-related reckless driving in 2006, and reckless driving costs lives. Simple and unequivocal. She could have killed someone in her state. She was given 36 months probation, $1500 in fines and mandatory alcohol education. All of which she accepted, especially reporting for enrolment in the education programme. Yet she never did enrol and, worse still, she took to driving again and was stopped twice by police when she was not even supposed to be in her car! She said she didn't know she was banned! Wow!


The Responsibilities of Being Celebrity
Second, Hilton is a celebrity role model, whether she acknowledges that or not. Millions of teens and other women across the world who look up to her would be watching, and even emulating, what she does. Flouting the law is not behaviour to inspire, or even reassure, such fans and followers, neither can she be allowed to disregard her probation by placing herself above it.

Third, for the law to work effectively, its application has to be consistent and perceived to be fair, no matter what the actual reality says. By ignoring whatever Hilton does in her case, a strong message of bias would be sent out to the general public regarding favoured people and their ability to ignore the law. The effect of that kind of action on others who are similarly sentenced would be disastrous, for upholding the law, for respect of it or instilling a sense of fairness in its jurisdiction. Worse of all, it would weaken the legitimacy of that law.

Finally, no one is above the law. Ignoring her actions would have encouraged others to do the same, especially when there are many people caught daily drinking and driving. How would such similar resistance by the public have been contained if it got out of hand? If a celebrity is going to behave as if a legal ruling doesn't apply to her then she must be prepared to take the consequences. One cannot flout the law then expect any mercy because the very act of doing as one pleases is to put one's self outside of its orbit. And if the law ceases to apply to our lives, what kind of state are we heading for?

At least one thing will come out of this. All those on similar probation who might be tempted to do the same will probably think again if they don't want to go to prison. Well done, Judge Sauer! Common sense is beginning to rule at last! There really should be no appeal to waste taxpayer's money any further.

Why Prince William and Kate Were Right to Split

Prince William and Kate Middleton have called it a day. Of course, the media were quite unprepared for it and is in a state of shock. Whom else do they have to train their lens on now? Lean times are certainly ahead. There are also negative comments from disappointed members of the public besotted with the possibility of the proverbial fairy tale-ending. Cutting remarks about him being 'just like his father' and being 'selfish' and 'immature', as though this young man should be living his life just for the benefit of everyone else. William and Kate have done exactly the right thing for them, regardless of which sections of the media, or public soothsayers they have inconvenienced by not staying together till the longed-for coronation. In fact, by their sensible, though sad, action, they have shown that they are quite capable of looking after themself and making the appropriate decisions without too much fanfare. In fact, proving far more mature than some who are behaving otherwise.

For a start, potential partners come into our lives for any of four main reasons: To help us out of a crisis, to teach us something new, to boost our confidence and build us up to face the next stage of our journey, or to be the permanent spouse we seek. The trouble with many single people is that they are so keen to find such a person, they tend to believe every person they meet will be the BIG ONE, the permanent partner. They burden every meeting and relationship with that expectation and are then surprised when it doesn't work out. Instead of allowing the friendship to evolve in its own way, they expect a lot which is then not delivered and rapid disappointment follows.

Secondly, just because William is a Royal prince does not excuse him from the processes of love and from any break-ups that might ensue with any person he takes up with. Having been together for a while, which encouraged people to take them for granted and make assumptions, does not mean they would be permanent either. Nothing is certain when it comes to affairs of the heart, especially with the Royal Family which has already set a very bad precedence in the consistent failure of its relationships. At least this is not another marriage on the rocks. There is room for review and regrouping, if they wish that. Kate Middleton is a remarkable, loyal, warm and discreet individual who seems perfect for the job but any relationship has to be about two people's needs being fulfilled, not just one.


Steady Anchor of Stability
Though the couple might be close in age, by her behaviour it is clear that Kate is far more mature in herself and desires, and perhaps was ready for more stability and permanence, than William was prepared for. Perhaps Kate has been there for reasons 2 and 3, as a steady anchor for William, to teach him new things and to boost his confidence and maturity for the next important stage of his life, rather than be the next queen. Or, it could be that William needs time out to live in his own way, away from her, to actually appreciate her value, and his role, if he is to make the right decisions for his future. No one can do that for him. If he doesn't feel ready for any commitment, maintaining the relationship just for show, in order to please others or because he is Royal, will only lead to the same results that has been had before and much unhappiness all round.

William deserves to have the life he wants until he is ready to settle down, particularly with the demanding role ahead of him. He seems to be a very intelligent and caring person. It is so sad and meanspirited when this young man is being compared to his father every time he does something which does not suit the expectations of others. William is only 24 and needs to develop into his own person without being compared to his father in every action he takes. He needs room to breathe and has a lifetime ahead of him to be like his father! Just now, William wants to be like every other youngster: to have an enjoyable life and to sample its attractions while he is young before he settles into responsibilities.

This break perhaps merely reflects a different stage in the couple's friendship. After having time to themself at college, they probably found the reality of his position and responsibilities in the wider world a difficult period of adjustment, which they probably need time to appreciate and change direction. Kate Middleton might yet be the right woman for William, after a spell away from each other, and meeting other people. But only HE can find that out, in his own time, not well meaning others who like to use their narrow expectations to dictate what they think is best for him.

Why Don Imus Was Right to be Sacked

The CBS popular radio announcer, Don Imus, who enjoys over two million listeners on the radio station WFAN, called the Black members of the Rutgers University team "nappy headed hoes". As usual, he does not believe he is racist and leading Black leaders called for him to be fired. As a Black person, normally I would be against anyone losing their job or livelihood because of a racist remark, no matter how abhorrent. But this case is different for three main reasons.

First, Imus has had thirty years in his job, building up a sizable audience for his morning show; people who, no doubt, look to him for guidance and being a role model. One would have thought that those years in the job would have given him a sensitivity for the feelings of his audience and a respect for the listeners who keep him there. One would also have expected that such long years would have built up an expertise which fosters the kind of responsibility and respect we would expect from such an experienced talk show host.

Yet, his critics say that during his thirty years he has shown a 'pattern of racially charged remarks' which he retorted were either 'misinterpreted' or 'satirical'. Regardless of misinterpretation, or otherwise, they were still racist, yet he did not desist. But racist remarks of any kind have no place in the vocabulary of someone on the public stage who is supposed to be serving a diverse audience. Being in a position of authority, especially with the privilege of being White in a majority White community, carries certain responsibilities as well as rights. We cannot attack people who are weak, or powerless, then say we are not bullies. Just as one cannot continue to use racist language down the years, aimed at vulnerable members of the community, then say one is not racist. It's a contradiction in terms. If we use the language of the bully, we are bullies, and if we use the language of the racist, we are racist. We cannot use the language of hate if we aspire to love. The two are inompatible.


Language Conveys Meaning
Second, the language we use defines who we are. For example, the word 'boredom' does not exist in my vocabulary. I have never used it in my lifetime to describe my feelings because I have too much to do in any one day and cannot find the time to be bored at any point. The word NO does not exist for me either, especially when trying to achieve something, because I believe everything is possible. Someone else who does not believe that will think 'no' first before they look at the possibilities. Moreover, I have never thought of saying anything racist about another person because I value every person and treat them with respect until they show me otherwise. So language is not just something we learn to use for communication or our benefit; not just something we pluck out of the air at random. Language represents who we are, body and soul, and the meanings we wish to convey.

We cannot use negative language and achieve positive aims, neither can we put down others and expect to make friends with them. Language reflects our identity, ethics, beliefs, who we are and aspire to be. We give life to what we believe through language. We would NEVER use words we are not comfortable with unless we are coerced. We also stamp our own style on our use of words so much that when something comes from us which doesn't sound in line with our personalities, not the 'normal' thing we would say, people begin to wonder. Language comes from the heart and the head to reflect exactly who we are and what we value. So when we use negative terms against others, we are actually demonstrating our fears, our insecurities, our low self-esteem, prejudices and, most of all, our feeling of power over them. We have the power to say such remarks, so we do it. Otherwise, why would this man, who has a job many would die for, wish to say something so awful about vulnerable women far away he didn't even know - comparing Black beauty to White beauty which is culturally incomparable.

Finally, his responsibilities. Don Imus has a radio programme which goes out to a diverse community with sponsors from that community. When he disparagingly talks about certain people in such racist ways, what message is he giving to his Black listeners about their worth and value? Most important, how does he expect those listeners to react who thinks him worthy enough for their time in tuning in to his programme? Sometimes, as we get so bloated with our own power, we forget about respect to the people who put us where we are. The word RESPECT has sensitivity at its core. Where was Imus' sensitivity to his diverse audience?

However, the comment which summed up the real effect of Don's offensive remarks came from Senator Barack Obama about his children and went straight to the heart of the issue with its simplicity. "He didn't just cross the line," Obama said in an interview. "He fed into some of the worst stereotypes that my two young daughters are having to deal with today in America. The notions that as young African-American women.....that somehow makes them less beautiful or less important. It was a degrading comment...."

Imus abused the authority placed in him as a public announcer, one who is supposed to be serving ALL members of his public, not just the White section of it. If he decides to make racist fodder out of others, he should know that carries consequences. By showing little sensitivity to his diverse audience and supporters with those awful sexist and racist remarks, he effectively relinquished the authority vested in him to act in an unbiased way and forfeited that respect. It depends on the society we seek if we can actually condone such discriminatory behaviour in the 21st century. The world has moved on a lot with our global interaction, a point that certain old hands are ignoring and resisting until they are foced to acknowledge it. Perhaps for the first time in his life, Don Imus is learning that certain actions have consequences, and free speech actually carries responsibilities for ensuring the rights of everyone.

The Real Value of Barack Obama's Presidential Bid

The first time I heard of this man he was touring Kenya, his ancestral village, and everyone there was gushing about him, treating him like a king returning home. This was late 2006. I had never heard of Barack Obama before, didn't realise he was an American senator, also didn't realise how few African-American senators there were, but was not at all surprised at the hero-worship back there.

Black people do not have too many wholesome heroes to inspire them. Many of the latter day heroes tend to come from the music field and what a dreadful example of drugs, drinks and rock and roll many of them are setting; not to mention the distasteful words in rap music which show little respect to women, and others, for that matter. Even when there is clear genius among us, we have a way of robbing it of its effect (Michael Jackson comes to mind?). I adore that man's music yet feel so disheartened at the way he has changed himself in such a sad way, detracting from the very talent we are trying to appreciate.

Starved of Black role models, many people despair of ever being reflected significantly while clinging to people like Oprah Winfrey and Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Halle Berry for some reflected glory. Minorities everywhere live vicariously through role models because of the absence of homegrown heroes, and Blacks in the UK are no different. In fact, when Colin Powell first became a general, one letter writer to the Voice newspaper noted drily that, "Had General Powell been in Britain he would have been Corporal Powell!"



No Inspiration for Black Teenagers
I have never forgotten that because it struck a chord of relevance and recognition which, 20 years down the line, is still resonating loudly with the invisibility of minorities in public positions of power and responsibility. There just aren't any to inspire the teenagers coming up; to reinforce their presence and value. Many of those in place are 'yes' people, beholden to the political party which put them there, securing their positions while being afraid to rock the boat, without backbones to be individual and to make that real difference, as they are gradually swallowed up by both the Establishment and the 'system' and lose their voice.

You can tell a lot about the government of a country in how they seek to unite the people and be representative of them. If the people associating with Britain's government and monarchy are anything to go by, the is an all-White country! You will not see a Black person of substance or expertise around the them in Britain, unless it is a bodyguard! Yet the Queen is the head of a multicultural Commonwealth and loves to boast about that when she visits them. Obviously charity does not reach as far as our home! This is very disappointing to me because, with Britain's history, and the way it trumpets regularly about justice and fairness, one would have thought it would have led the field in recognising diversity and its own multicultural population in more visible and tangible ways. As a staunch Briton, who love this country, I find that so sad.

That's why America has always had a special place for Black people everywhere because, through the relentless advance of our African-American brothers and sisters in all walks of public life, we too can live vicariously and pretend we have similar opportunities. Our successful African-American brothers and sisters allow us to dream, to imagine, to luxuriate in what is possible. We feel as though we share that success because it looks so easy, and we have so little. However, we have always acknowledged that the supreme position of president was always closed to everyone except White males. Not any more, it isn't. Thanks to one man who dared to dream, we can share that too in believing the sky is truly our limit.


Tremendous Self-Belief
The real value of Barack Obama lies not just in the possibility of him creating history on an unimagined scale. It actually lies in what he represents to Black people everywhere; the fulfilment of the impossible. As Nelson Mandela once echoed in a speech, by his fearless action and tremendous self-belief, Barack gives permission to all of us to dream too in a way which wouldn't be understood by a White person in any number of years, because they take success and status for granted. White role models are limitless, proliferating every minute of every day to become commonplace and taken for granted. When a White person says he'll be a millionaire by the time he is 30, that is almost a fact beyond dispute. There are too many millionaires around to suggest otherwise. When a Black person says it, we wonder from what basis. How are they going to do it with the lack of role models to inspire them and the lack of precedence to motivate them? A superhuman task. It then becomes an uphill struggle as they contend with self-doubt, the scepticism of their peers and the discriminatory practices around them.

However, regardless of whether he gets into the White House or not, the presence of Barack Obama in the American presidential race has already turned a new chapter for every African-American male by showing them their own worth and power. Barack has taken the baton from Colin Powell and is proving to them that the humblest person, without wealth or whiteness, can attain the highest office. And it must begin to do something positive to their thinking and aspirations. I do hope so.

The heartfelt words from this donor, a Navy veteran, which accompanied the $5 he sent to Barrack, says it all. It was his first ever donation and his daughter inspired him to send the money: He said, "Being an African American male, to have that positive role model in Senator Obama, it's given me so much hope. To be able to look at my daughter one day and tell her, 'You can be anything you want in the world' ... In the past I might have said, 'You could be anything you want to be. But president? No' ... But now, he's given me that light. Now, I can tell her, 'You really can be anything you want in the world.'"

Amen to that, sir – and Thank You!

4 Key Reasons Why Barack Obama Will be The Next US President

On 11th February I wrote an appreciative blog on Barack Obama, the new presidential hopeful. Then I was in awe of the 'audacity' of this man from nowhere, much inspired by him and his dreams and I wondered whether his hopeful dash had anything to teach the UK. However, I concluded my blog with these words: "Much as I would like Barack Obama to become the next President, I do not think that he will, on this round. I think he should be Hillary Clinton's running mate and what an unstoppable team they would be - his charisma with her experience, not to mention the differing gender, race and personal ethos which would add extra appeal. He would at least dent her conservatism while gaining the necessary training to succeed after her.

Well, two months down the line, I take it ALL back! In my humble opinion Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States of America for the following reasons:

1. Grassroots Support: Barack is intent on being the People's President in a very clever move to distance himself from the big lobbyists and sectional interests which usually drain White House incumbents of their power. The fewer factions he has to answer to, both White and Black, when he gets into office the more his hands will be freed to carry out the kind of policies he wishes to introduce to change America and unite it, as he is promising. If his hands are not tied with great expectations from those with the power, he can embrace the masses more sincerely with more room for action.

He is quietly involving as many people as he can so that when he actually stands on those White House steps, the ordinary man in the street who donated his $5 can actually beam with pride and say, "I helped to get him there." And that's a powerful sense of inclusion Mrs Clinton hasn't yet realised, or learnt, in our YouTube and blogger age. People want to feel significant and valued and, with his website, of which I am a member, Barack Obama is doing just that, with regular information and encouragement to be part of his circle as well as a pioneer in the dramatic change afoot in America. It would be exciting times for those who have never been involved in the political process or got near a potential president. To know that their effort and involvement can actually make a difference would be a tremendous boost for their feeling of worth and value!

Big business and big money can help to get you into any public office in the USA, but it is the people who will keep you there. By encouraging his supporters to hold meetings in their houses and communicate with one another as much as possible – in essence, to be mini-campaign managers for spreading the word on his behalf to attract even more local attention – he is building a formidable base of public support because nothing succeeds like word of mouth. Soon this 100,000 flock, and the money he is likely to receive, will both dramatically expand as people realise he is now a very serious contender.



Shrewd Move
2. New Style. It is clear that Barack and his team are determined to do things very differently. Notice how they deliberately waited to announce their first quarter figures, well after the hullaballoo of the Clinton camp. They were in no rush to boast. That was a shrewd move because Clinton's aides completely underestimated him, believing that their money was so high as to overwhelm her rivals. But, not for the first time, has Barack snatched the initiative and the media attention in a dignified way, demonstrating that he is his own man, who is determined to do things his way, and a new way, and can take care of himself very well. Notice too that he has refrained from cosying up to people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, though he has praised their role in making it all possible for him with their pioneering days. He is trying not align himself with specific factions in order to encourage a broader appeal. And that can only be good for both the country and his support base.

3. Time For a Big Change. The negative antics of President Bush has ensured that America has lost a lot of its power, credibility and respect, and is now ready for change. Not just a cosmetic one, but a dramatic change. In fact, watch the world's response to America once Barack is installed, at least in the first couple of years as he proves himself. His manner will be far less adversarial because he is a conciliator who speaks from love, not hate, and that is why people find it easy to warm to him. I knew I would see a Black president in my lifetime because the signs were always there. But I never believed one without too much experience and so young would be taking centre stage, which shows his maturity, sincerity and great competence at dealing with what he has to do.

4. Blind Spot. America has had a blind spot ever since Hillary has been campaigning. There was such a foregone conclusion about her ability to fundraise and fit the role of president that they left little room for any alternatives. No one could have predicted Barack Obama's presence and enormous success so far. Like the Google juggernaut, no one saw him coming. Being so preoccupied with all the other old contenders, they left little room for the new. Those who did spot him in the distance were perhaps ready to dismiss his chances because of his relative inexperience. But Google came out of nowhere to dominate the world with their new way of thinking, amazing innovations and fearless way of acting. Barack Obama, whom the rest of the world had barely heard of 6 months ago, seems to have begun his own journey towards global domination.

It is no longer a question of whether he will get into the White House. It is simply a matter of when, and the sooner the better. Anyone who can have such an impact on a huge country in such a short time has tremendous talent for leadership, which his supporters obviously desire. The only place for such a talent to do itself justice is right at the top, in America's historical White House, its main seat of power, from which it can lead and inspire.

The Greatest Empowerment to a Child

This week the British government said that schools can ban students from wearing Muslim veils, if teachers believe they affect safety, security or pupils' learning. School administrators have the right to ban students from covering their faces under a new uniform policy, but educators should speak with parents before introducing such a ban, said Schools Minister Jim Knight in a DEfS statement.

"And while they should make every effort to accommodate social, religious or medical requirements of individual pupils, the needs of safety, security and effective learning in the school must always take precedence," he said.

As expected, some leading Muslims have objected to the ban, but I welcome the government's leadership on this issue because, as both a former education manager, and a keen promoter of diversity and a multicultural society, I agree wholeheartedly with it. It is all about human respect, inclusion and value. We use the word respect regularly in our daily lives, but very few people understand what it really means. It is not a singular cure-all for worthy intentions, but a very powerful 6-dimensional word which goes to the heart of diversity, human worth and appreciation.

Genuine respect is all embracing. It carries much compassion, little judgment and is entirely non-selective. It sees positivity before negativity, strength before weakness and possibility before judgement. Above all, it is mutually reinforcing, not one way. So respect is never present where only one party claims the need to be respected for their values and traditions through appeasement or bullying. That expectation would reflect mere power and a lack of respect, making it an extremely good pointer to interpersonal interactions. At the heart of respect is sensitivity through compromise. If we are not prepared to compromise with another, there is no respect.


Consequences of Emigrating

When we settle in a different country, we choose that country because of what it offers us, at the beginning, but also what we feel we can contribute to it over time. One of the consequences of emigrating is that we lose at least 50% of what we cherish and value, unless we remain in the past, holding on to something we can never regain. Then we lose much more than that in security and self-worth. If we wanted that country to be like the place we have left, why emigrate at all? Simpler to stay put and preserve the cherished customs and traditions which are reinforced by others around us.

The minute we leave our homeland, the need for compromise becomes essential because nothing will be as we left it. Our new life will need negotiation, adjustment and embracing change in a massive way. It will be pretty scary but very rewarding. We cannot impose our values on the new country of residence. It is bound to change us over time because that is the natural law of change. We can never resist it, no matter how long it takes, otherwise we will be fossilised in a time warp while everything briskly moves on around us, as shown by the conflict between the older generation of immigrants who are stuck back there and the new generation born in the UK. Furthermore, only oppressors and colonists seek to impose their language and customs on the new countries they inhabit.

For me personally, as a former education manager, the ban is appropriate and well overdue. We cannot have equality for some women in Britain and not for others. I would also NOT employ someone veiled to teach young children, or have them wear the veil in school either, for one single important reason. The greatest encouragement to anyone, let alone a young child, is a SMILE. It is at the heart of inclusion and belonging. It is very powerful, it costs nothing and can move mountains when everything else fails because of its inclusiveness and reassurance. Without that smile there is nothing familiar and welcoming. Children of whatever age live for that smile of approval and reinforcement. At the youngest ages they soon learn that a smile is the essential currency of love and inclusion, a reinforcement of their worth; that the simple smile takes on a life of its own and opens doors to other aspects of enjoyment. Take it away, and there is doubt, fear and insecurity in the young mind.

Teachers are there to teach but children do not learn just from what they actually say. Children learn from example, from expressions, from a sense of being valued and wanted; from a simple smile of encouragement to do improve their efforts. Boys do not cover their faces in a classroom. In a land striving for equality, girls should not cover their faces either. It is important that children communicate with each other from as early as possible, if we are to reduce prejudice, ignorance and bigotry. A smile is one of the most powerful forms of communicating in any language, especially when other communication isn't possible. Covered faces in a classroom do nothing to bridge the cultural gap, to aid understanding of others, or to enhance self-worth, self-esteem and belonging. Neither do they communicate anything about the joy and positivity of being a vibrant and exciting part of a true multicultural society. They simply breed suspicion and mistrust, continually reinforcing them and us.

What's in a Name?(3) The Enslavement of our Children

Does the way Black children are behaving have anything do do with the slavery of their ancestors and their own achievement? With Britain currently commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Abolition of the Slave Trade, it got me thinking about the real legacy of slavery on Black people, particularly in how we perceive ourselves, the names we use and the way our low self-esteem affects our children.


Once I attended a meeting in London of very keen, Black education professionals, who had each paid £75 for the privilege of discussing a particular report and its potential impact on the community. I waited eagerly for its content. However, my one abiding memory of that meeting was the negative way three very vocal 'sisters' totally hijacked the proceedings to question who had written the report and what colour that person should have been. For the next two hours, absolutely nothing was discussed until the terminology was sorted out and the colour of participants was fully checked and analysed: a total waste of delegates' time, money and talents. Months later, I am still trying to work out what we achieved on that day because we never did get to the actual findings! I am sure my experience is not unique and could explain why often so little is achieved within our community.

Black though we may be, if we have never been to Africa, we are no more 'Africans' than the descendants of the early Britons across the Pond who fought with the UK for their independence and are now very much Americans. They cannot call themselves Britons when they have very little physical or cultural ties with the mother country, and don't even speak the same language. Names are extremely important when they are associated with a sense of wellbeing and a definite history. However, people who cling to the past, long after it has lost its meaning, tend to be stagnant in their ambitions, fearful in their thoughts and fossilised in their actions. Having a sense of continuing frustration, yet not sure how to deal with it, they gradually find it easier to look towards another utopia, to see it as the answer, even when it is alien to them and is merely just a dream. Thus the place they left decades ago, like Bangladesh, Jamaica or India, is still 'home' even forty years afterwards. This view stops them facing their new reality, keeping them exposed as very obvious minorities, forever on the periphery while they abdicate responsibility for their future and blame the past for any present predicament.


Inscurity and Underachievement

The notion of a home far away also harms their children's present and future. It implants a constant reminder of instability and impermanence and is one of the biggest causes of insecurity and underachievement. If their parents are going 'home' sometime in the never never, why should they bother to work here? Why bother with making real friends? With buckling down to school work if you are going to be uprooted suddenly to 'go home'? Sadly, 15 or 20 years down the line, when the parents are still in Britain clinging to their outdated memory of 'home', the children would have completely lost theirs through apathy and alienation. In the meantime, the 'home' they fondly hang on to has changed beyond recognition. Trapped in time and fossilised in their brain, the cherished perfect past is a far cry from the actual reality; one which is a vibrant, moving form of constantly changing mores; one which would be almost as alien to them as to anyone else.

We stop developing when we live in the past and hang on to it for its own sake, while being constantly bitter and vengeful. In this way we learn nothing from it to safeguard or improve our future. Black people are of African descent, and that is labouring the obvious. Though we need to know our history and our roots, that knowledge should enhance, not retard, our progress. We have chosen, or been given, a different future which we must develop to the fullest in the brief time available. If you feel strongly about any country, more than you do about the place you live in, then DO something about it! Why not visit that place, examine its prospects and help to build it up? Share your expertise with the community to enable others to benefit from your contributions while you gain a sense of fulfilment.

Hankering daily after somewhere else, while we do little to improve our current existence, makes life needlessly difficult and frustrating. It becomes a good excuse, and a handy ploy, to prevent us ever facing our own reality. It also keeps us stuck in the paradise of our dreams while the paradise we could help to build disintegrates around us. A country divided cannot thrive. Its people has to work together, not against each other, to give it life and success.

It really doesn't matter what we call ourself. We can only extend and conquer the earth when actions take precedence over words; when we know who we are and wish to be, when we accept that identity fully and head off into the future to give it life. Only then will we be able to deal with any obstacles in our way; to feel confident about our potential for making a difference to ourself and our environment. Repressing our ambition under a daily concentration on labels, names and theories indicates real fear and little self-esteem as we replace deeds with semantics and a lack of vision.

Key Questions for Our Future

Whether you are an African who has never been to Africa, an Asian who left your country years ago, or a Briton who is going nowhere else, here is a little challenge to tease out your true identity: Apart from mere words, what have I done for Africa lately? For Jamaica? For India? For Pakistan? For Britain? For Me...?

The answer will not only be truly enlightening, it might actually point you in the right direction for the greatest achievement of all time: liberating yourself from the semantic slavery which has chained you for long enough to the aimless sinking ship of negativity and regret. There really is a connection between the death of seven Black youngsters in six weeks, the state of the Black community and how it views itself and the apology demanded from the British government over slavery. They are all linked to our self-perception, sense of impotence and genuine frustrations. We have got an apology from Tony Blair about what happened hundreds of years ago and the legacy it has left.

Fine, so what now? Only self-confidence and high self-esteem can propel our children to greater self-love and achievement. Unless we love and respect ourself, our children have no hope of loving or respecting themselves too. They will always be ashamed of who they are and keep taking it out on each other. Many of us are still back there wallowing in self-hate and slavery. But it's time to start taking responsibility for our lives so that we can give our children the reinforcement, strength and pride to take reponsibility for their lives too.

An apology from the politicians might force some superficial accountability and assuage some egos, but it is an empty gesture which reflects the past and does little for us and our future. The real question is: When are WE going to forgive ourselves for our distressing past and actually discard our slavery mentality to realise the wonderful, talented beings we are? This is fundamental to the progress of Black children, to their feelings of security and value, and to leaving our own positive legacy, no matter where we are settled in the world.