Countdown to the Royal Wedding- Day 2: Why William and Kate's marriage should last much longer than the other Royals'

Soon after their engagement, in November last year, a bishop of the Anglican church, the Rt Rev. Pete Broadbent, Bishop of Willesden was censured by the Bishop of London, who oversees him, and asked to "withdraw from public ministry until further notice". Why? Because he likened the couple, on his Facebook page, to 'shallow celebrities' whose marriage would fall apart "after seven years". How he is so privy to the exact number of years the marriage would last, is anyone's guess. However, it got me thinking about the couple's fortchoming union and I thought I would pronounce on the issue, as a relationship guru, at least from a more expert base than the bishop's.

William and Kate are likely to have a very long marriage because of certain key factors which were not common to other Royals, or 'shallow celebrities'.

Prince William and Kate Middleton being interviewed.


1. Shared VALUES
Shared values lie at the heart of any relationship. Partnerships fail when the values become disparate, the couple see things differently and cherish different aspects of their lives. William and Kate got obviously on very well from the moment they met at St Andrews University because they clearly share certain key values - especially valuing communication and empathy for others. They place priority on the same kinds of activities which seem to matter to BOTH of them.

For example, during his gap year at University, William joined Raleigh International in southern Chile for 10 weeks, helping to improve the lives of the local community. He actually helped to 'construct walkways from log posts and taught English in local schools'. That would have had quite an impact on his perspectives. Six weeks after he left, Kate Middleton joined the group too. It seems that both choices of Raleigh International were entirely independent of each other. The fact that they both wanted to share in a similar experience relating to other people would form part of the glue to hold them together.

William chops wood for his community in Chile.

He also spent time on a dairy farm in the UK, where he was paid the measly sum of £3.20 ($5) per hour. Apparently, he has said he loved that experience the best, "rising before dawn to milk cows and performing mucky jobs" like everyone else. Kate herself wasn't raised on a farm, but she lives in a very quiet rural area, which seems to please William greatly, as he is always finding opportunities to spend time with her family. I would think that the couple's choice of living in Anglesey, a very remote rural area in wales, would have been a deliberate choice connected to that style of life.


2. Great CHEMISTRY
There are four main elements to chemistry: attraction, comfort, value and excitement. Attraction itself has three further elements: physical, emotional and intellectual. If we examine their chemistry carefully, it is very clear that the physical attraction between them is off the scale, they are clearly emotionally connected. They seem to have the same moods and body language and the intellectual connection would be awesome because of their shared University experience and the level of education they both had.

William and Kate chilling out.

They are obviously VERY comfortable with each other, as their constant smiles and body language demonstrate, they also value each other and show it (as their interviews indicate), they have an irreverent sense of humour, and they seem to enjoy great excitement in the company of each other. With this couple, one might be a Royal prince and the other a commoner but, take away the superficial title and you would have two ordinary people who are likely to be holding hands and hugging at every opportunity and who wouldn't be afraid of public displays of affection. One senses that they are holding back in their public treatment of each other to avoid undue attention from the media. But the chemistry is electric between them and that's what will hold them together for a long time. They truly love each other. This won't be a marriage for heirs and spares, but one of a deep bonding of mutual understanding. Not like his mother and father, Charles and Diana, where there was a clear division between his status and hers, a stiff formality of never ending protocol, which was reflected in the way he treated her.

William and Kate seem far more natural and warm in their affection that Charles and Diana.


3. Good COMMUNICATION
This couple are clearly in tune with one another. They seem most at ease together in every picture taken of them and they are always chatting together. They like communicating together and are articulate enough to appreciate what each other is saying and the meaning involved. William and Kate are truly at ease with each other. One gets the impression that if they have a disagreement they can sort it out together without things becoming negative. She is not in awe of him and he has a healthy respect for her, a good basis for mutual respect. Most importantly, they smile a lot, being very positive people who seem happy in their own skins. This should draw them closer together even more and be a source of comfort in the down times.

Eyes only for each other!


4. Shared ASPIRATIONS
One gets a sense that their expectations, objectives and aspirations are likely to be the same. No one spends over seven years in another's company without learning tons about them and without a deep understanding developing between them. By their behaviour since they met, they have been acting like a married couple in all but name. Mismatching expectations are the biggest killers of relationships. It seems that their expectations of each other are in full alignment with what matters to both of them. The interaction between them is so flowing and easy; nothing seems artificial or staged. It shows that, along with their values, they do share similar objectives which they can both be comfortable with, which could partly explain why Kate was keen for them to get on with it and tie the knot.


5. Genuine mutual RESPECT
The interviews of this couple show unmistakeably that they have great respect for each other. They clearly love one another, but they also value each other too, the essence of respect. You can hear it in their words, when they are talking about each other, the loving and admiring way they look at each other other, and in the way they support one another at every opportunity. There is complete alignment here between the couple. Contrast that to Charles and Diana, especially when she said she was in love with him, and he replied vaguely, 'Whatever love is'!

Altogether, the couple's clear attraction, confidence, easy communication, body language and mutual support suggest two people who know each other very well, who love each other very much, whose expectations are in alignment on a mutally supportive level and who, above all, have tremendous chemistry flowing between them. A firm foundation for a wonderful and long-lasting relationship.

A future king and queen of the United Kingdom.

Why Prince William and Kate Were Right to Split

Prince William and Kate Middleton have called it a day. Of course, the media were quite unprepared for it and is in a state of shock. Whom else do they have to train their lens on now? Lean times are certainly ahead. There are also negative comments from disappointed members of the public besotted with the possibility of the proverbial fairy tale-ending. Cutting remarks about him being 'just like his father' and being 'selfish' and 'immature', as though this young man should be living his life just for the benefit of everyone else. William and Kate have done exactly the right thing for them, regardless of which sections of the media, or public soothsayers they have inconvenienced by not staying together till the longed-for coronation. In fact, by their sensible, though sad, action, they have shown that they are quite capable of looking after themself and making the appropriate decisions without too much fanfare. In fact, proving far more mature than some who are behaving otherwise.

For a start, potential partners come into our lives for any of four main reasons: To help us out of a crisis, to teach us something new, to boost our confidence and build us up to face the next stage of our journey, or to be the permanent spouse we seek. The trouble with many single people is that they are so keen to find such a person, they tend to believe every person they meet will be the BIG ONE, the permanent partner. They burden every meeting and relationship with that expectation and are then surprised when it doesn't work out. Instead of allowing the friendship to evolve in its own way, they expect a lot which is then not delivered and rapid disappointment follows.

Secondly, just because William is a Royal prince does not excuse him from the processes of love and from any break-ups that might ensue with any person he takes up with. Having been together for a while, which encouraged people to take them for granted and make assumptions, does not mean they would be permanent either. Nothing is certain when it comes to affairs of the heart, especially with the Royal Family which has already set a very bad precedence in the consistent failure of its relationships. At least this is not another marriage on the rocks. There is room for review and regrouping, if they wish that. Kate Middleton is a remarkable, loyal, warm and discreet individual who seems perfect for the job but any relationship has to be about two people's needs being fulfilled, not just one.


Steady Anchor of Stability
Though the couple might be close in age, by her behaviour it is clear that Kate is far more mature in herself and desires, and perhaps was ready for more stability and permanence, than William was prepared for. Perhaps Kate has been there for reasons 2 and 3, as a steady anchor for William, to teach him new things and to boost his confidence and maturity for the next important stage of his life, rather than be the next queen. Or, it could be that William needs time out to live in his own way, away from her, to actually appreciate her value, and his role, if he is to make the right decisions for his future. No one can do that for him. If he doesn't feel ready for any commitment, maintaining the relationship just for show, in order to please others or because he is Royal, will only lead to the same results that has been had before and much unhappiness all round.

William deserves to have the life he wants until he is ready to settle down, particularly with the demanding role ahead of him. He seems to be a very intelligent and caring person. It is so sad and meanspirited when this young man is being compared to his father every time he does something which does not suit the expectations of others. William is only 24 and needs to develop into his own person without being compared to his father in every action he takes. He needs room to breathe and has a lifetime ahead of him to be like his father! Just now, William wants to be like every other youngster: to have an enjoyable life and to sample its attractions while he is young before he settles into responsibilities.

This break perhaps merely reflects a different stage in the couple's friendship. After having time to themself at college, they probably found the reality of his position and responsibilities in the wider world a difficult period of adjustment, which they probably need time to appreciate and change direction. Kate Middleton might yet be the right woman for William, after a spell away from each other, and meeting other people. But only HE can find that out, in his own time, not well meaning others who like to use their narrow expectations to dictate what they think is best for him.